Christmas and the Fate of a New Year

Merry Christmas, Darling!

Today is the twin's birthday and tomorrow Risa flies down to visit Dad for the holidays. Jon and Wes are still living in Dad's house and Jon is doing nothing about getting himself a job. I doubt he ever will. Wesley has contacted a head hunter who is looking for him, but unfortunately, the time for finding a job has passed. He has no skills and no ability to be trained because he won't follow directions. The house looks like a dope den with nothing being cleaned on a regular basis. Jon does have the dishes done periodically, but nothing else is ever cleaned. I want to go in and move everything to storage while I work on the place one room at a time. I tried to paint the place last year, but Jon and Wes were unable to keep it clean. Eventually, I gave up. I couldn't take care of their place and mine at the same time.

Which brings me to my home. Things are a bit better with the dining room cleaned and set up for Risa to use as a makeshift bedroom. I cleaned up lots of boxes, but wore out and dumped the residue in my closet where it'll be out of the way while she's here. I'll try to bring them back out one box at a time until I finish, but it is taking me years to go through all the stuff!

Dad has worn an EEG/EKG monitor continually for the past 3 days to see if there is anything the doctors can do to help Pop live longer. The unit consisted of electrodes on his head and shoulders, a backpack that he had to wear constantly, and a camera that was to record his sleeping. I don't know if it will be enough. He seems resigned to living until he falls one too many times. I ask him to use the Nitro, and he does for about 2 days after he has fallen, then it is back to trying to walk without it.

Which brings me to this: Dad fell out of bed yesterday morning, backpack and all. He laid there waiting for help to get up until Joel heard him tapping his cane on the bedroom door and picked him up. Joel immediately came by to get me right after. I was horrified and still am. I want him to be OK, but he has such a stubborn streak that I'm not sure I can continue to care for him.

I wish you were here to help ease my mind. I get so upset and can't control my frustration and fury at not being able to keep him safe. I can love him and present the best for him, but he has to also want the best for him, too. Just say you'll be there for me when I come, please...

I also am frustrated that I made an ooboo with my Visiting Teachers a week ago. The Sunday School lesson was on being a Good Citizen and I mentioned that just before the last federal election, Deseret News voiced that as Latter-day Saints we were to vote for morally upstanding candidates. I also mentioned that I was so unhappy with Donald Trump as President. One of my Visiting Teachers became enraged and stated that he didn't smoke or drink. I started to state that anyone who sexually attacked women was not morally correct, but should be stopped. Mostly because she equated not smoking nor drinking with being morally upstanding, I hesitated enraging her more. She ranted for a while and I let her because she was stating something that needed to come off her chest. I must never state anything again. If word gets to the bishop, I am sure I'll be released from gospel doctrine. I may never teach again...

"Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?" Not my most upbeat of posts, is it?

Take care, and know that I love you very much.

Astros and the World Series

Hi Love,

I have bad news for you... the Indians were knocked out of the ALCS this year by the Yankees, who were a wildcard team. The Yankees were in turn, knocked out of the running by the Astros. The family gathered around the television and watched as many of the games as was possible with our schedules. Even Joel stopped by long enough to watch some of the games.

For some good news, however, the Astros are in the World Series with the Dodgers! Since the Dodgers won 104 games during the season, they are considered to have home field advantage and the Astros began playing in Los Angeles in 100+ heat. The first day, it knocked them for a loop and they lost the game 3 to 1. Keuchel (pronounced Kykel) was the losing pitcher. They fought hard, but just couldn't pull it off.

Last night was the second game of the series with the Dodgers and it was hard fought. Alex Bregman, the Astros' first baseman, hit a homerun in the top of the third inning and I knew we had a chance to win the game. But I work lousy hours and couldn't keep my eyes open long enough and went to bed and watched the game from there. Actually, I heard the game from there. In the bottom of the fifth inning, Dodger's player came up with a home run and the game was tied until the 6th, when Dodgers came up with another two runs. I was deeply disturbed (that's really when I went to bed. I couldn't stand to see them lose another game). The Astros added one run for both the eighth and the ninth innings evening the score, and taking us into extra innings.

Then things got interesting. In the tenth inning, the Astros added two more runs and I thought we might win, until the bottom of the tenth and the Dodgers added two more runs.

By the time the eleventh inning came up, we were sure the pattern of Astros long balls would be met by the Dodgers. We got two more runs. But the Dodgers ran out of steam. They got one more run, but the final batter, Puig, couldn't put the ball past the fences and we won the game 7 to 6!

We screamed so hard and were so surprised! It was the first World Series game win for the Astros in franchise history!

It was done with the work of a young pitcher named Justin Verlander. He was a late trade that put the spark back into the Astros bats. He has been a wonderful addition. His girlfriend is the model Kate Upton. She has been indispensable for the the Astros and a focus for the fans.

Pop even got in spirit. Risa and I crocheted Dad an Astros afghan of navy, white and orange. I noticed that during the game with the Yankees, every time Dad had the afghan over his lap, the Astros won. If he forgot to place the afghan on his lap, the Astros lost. We tried it for the World Series game 1, but it didn't work. Pop got discouraged and wouldn't wear it again. I think he should have worn it for game two and taken credit for the win, but what do I know.

I got a text from Hilary this morning commenting on the game and mentioning that you would have been so happy with the win. My thought was that you'd have already bought tickets for all three games here in Houston, which begin tomorrow night, and that you'd be doing your little 'Codispoti dance' throughout the house. We both miss you terribly.

I don't know if I'll ever have time to share any of these experiences with you when we meet again. I hope we will have time to talk and enjoy getting to know each other again, but I really have no idea what the future will be like. I know that you have a better idea than I do right now, and I can live with that for a short time. I'll have to update my picture folder as there are none available. I'll have to reload them, but I'll find the one with Dad and the afghan for you.

Please remember how much I love you and that the love I have crosses boundaries of time and space. It even crosses dimensions and realities. We are and always have been. One.

Drunk Uncle Harvey and the End of Innocence

Hi Love,

Where do I begin. August 6th, after Sunday dinner, Dad drove himself home and while sitting in front of the T. V., he had a heart attack. He had the where-with-all to have Jon call "911" for an ambulance then call me. Greg and I accompanied him to Kingwood hospital where they admitted him for observation. By the next day, they decided to do a heart catheterization and see what was going on. They found one artery completely blocked, one 80% blocked and another on 70% blocked. The doctor's looked at him and decided that he was strong enough for a triple by-pass surgery.

Unfortunately, Dad's grip on reality began to wane and I thought I'd loose him even if the operation was successful. His nurses asked if he'd been diagnosed with dementia. I said no, but I knew he had difficulty with his short term memory.

In the morning of Wednesday, August 9th, Dad went in for the operation. It was very hard on him and hard on me. His recouperation has been long and hard also. He was in the hospital and rehab at Kingwood rehab center, for 3.5 weeks.

Unfortunately, Houston was visited by a category 5 hurricane I now call my drunk Uncle Harvey. About 1/3 of all households in Houston were affected by flood waters. Because of poor planning, Houston has no way to get rid of flood water that either came as rain, via storm surge, or controlled release of water from the bayous and rivers. This interfered with seeing Dad because... Kingwood was on the other side old 59 and there was no way for me to get to him. Dad was at the rehab center when the hurricane came. I tried to find ways for three days and wasn't able to locate a way.

Claire G's Husband Passed Away

Christine sent me a note letting me know that Claire's husband had a massive heart attack two weeks ago and died last week. You knew Claire and we have a lot in common since I can still feel the anguish of your passing. In her pain, she wrote me to let me know. I sent her this reply:

My dear friend Claire,

I have been beside myself since I heard about your husband’s passing. I remember how hard it was for me to face people after Frank died.

Allow yourself to grieve. I was totally unprepared for the pain of grieving even though I knew that Frank would not survive his cancer. I awoke every morning crying and went to bed each night with tears. It didn’t begin to subside until Frank had been gone a year. Allow yourself that time.

If you want to be alone, don’t hesitate to kick everyone out of your house. My family lingered on long past their expiration date. Some grieving must be done in the quiet solitude of the evening stillness. I could feel Frank’s presence with me for a long time. The quiet allowed me time to feel him near. If on the other hand, you prefer to have everyone with you, don’t hesitate to ask people to stay with you until you feel better about being alone.

Don’t go back to work too soon. I am a workaholic and tried to come back after two weeks. I kept bursting into tears on campus. Gage your emotions. People, well-meaning people, will constantly come up and ask how you are doing. Each time they do will bring fresh tears. I remember meeting Sarah Napier at a conference the October after Frank’s death and she innocently asked how he was doing. I had to leave the conference until I composed myself and it made Sarah feel horrible, which was not my intent. I hadn’t completed the grieving process yet.

This will be the most difficult pain you will ever feel. Separation after being together for so long will feel like it will break you, but it won’t. You are strong, caring, flexible, and loved. Focus on being loved and that you have loved in return.

Always your dear friend,

Ginny

Memorial Day with Joby

Hi Sweets,

Memorial Day this year had Greg and Dad traveling to New Orleans so Pop could see the brick he and Mom purchased to help fund the World War II museum in New Orleans. Because Dad is getting weaker and may soon be unable to travel, they decided on the spur of the moment to go. They wanted me to go with them, but I had so much that needed to be done at the house that I felt my heart wouldn't be in it if I went. My head would still be at the house worrying about all the stuff that needed to be done at the house.

Greg let me know when they got to New Orleans and into their hotel room, but Greg wanted to go to Mississippi and Alabama as he'd never been to either state before. It was one of the things on his bucket list. Greg states that Dad ate his way across three states, so I guess Pop is still going strong. Right now, he is sleeping in his seat right next to me watching (through his eyelids) the New York Yankees steamroll over the Toronto Blue Jays. Here are some of the pictures Greg sent me on Pop at the Museum when they found Pop's brick.

Pop standing in front of his brick.

A picture of Pop's Brick showing his rank, branch of service, Company, Division, and Regiment. 

It also shows where Pop entered the war, at Okinawa.

Greg said he got a lot of attention for being a veteran and a Purple Heart at that! Pop and Greg had a great time together.

While Dad and Greg were enjoying the trip, Joel and I were working our buns off cleaning out a part of the back yard that had become overgrown with neglect. Last week, I asked Greg and Joel to help me clear out a huge bush that had invaded where the oak tree had been before it died (the drought from a few years ago). 

They left the Chinese Tallow Tree that grew out of the middle of the spot where the oak tree had been. Greg used a bow saw to cut out the main branches, except he left the stubs closest to the roots and I had to deal with those. As you can see, it still didn't look very good.

Joel and I decided we had to do something to make the spot a little more structured and part of a modern back yard. So, we purchased 18 edging bricks and I laid them out. I was worried about covering up one of the sprinkler heads so we couldn't finish until we located them. We were singularly unsuccessful. Eventually, we had to set the sprinkler system and then sit in chairs in the back yard and wait until it went on during it's proper routine. 

In the mean time, I sent Joel into the front yard to retrieve the five, not six American flags I'd placed in the front planter. You could hear him squeal like a little girl when the water came on and hit him. His pants and shoes were wet when he brought the retrieved flags back. 

Then, it was my turn to place the flags in the planter before the water came on, but I didn't make it and it was my turn to squeal like a little girl. Joel and I enjoyed teasing each other about our water escapade. 

Planter with the edging bricks and cardboard on the bottom. As you can see, Greg and Joel quit before the stubs on the left were removed. I forgave them.

Planter with 5 bags of top soil added. Still see the stubs on the left.

Joel after conquering in the bush stubs with the help of his trusty reciprocating saw. (Yea, I bought it.)

Right before this picture was taken, Joel pulled a muscle in his back and I sent him into the house to recuperate while I took over. In the end, I cut off most of what you see above the top soil. Eventually, I added another three bags of top soil hoping to cover the stubs. I planted marigolds around the edges, tomato plants, yellow crook-necked squash, and green bell peppers. Later I added one bush cucumber and mulched the entire planter. 

I also placed six small American Flags along the periphery and planted a larger one under the tree. I have named it Memorial Day Park in honor of Pop and Greg and their service to their country.

May your flag fly for ever.

The Astros are on Top!

Hi Love,

Last night, Greg, Dad and I drove to Minute Maid Park to enjoy an Astros' game and, of course, Wednesday night dollar hot dogs (that was Pop's insistence). Since it is late May, I assumed when I purchased the tickets that it would be on the warm side for the game. But, to my amazement, the weather was perfect for baseball. The sky over the park was clear and a most delicate shade of baby blue. The weather was a bit warm, but the soft breeze that waifed over the stands calmed the anxiety we might have.

The Astros are in First Place. Not just in the American League West, not only in the American League, but in All BASEBALL!!! I don't know how long we will keep the title, but for now it is ours.

This is my second game in a month. Greg has enjoyed attending and Pop loves to be out with his family, so we indulge him. Plus, he LOVES dollar hot dog night. I bought him 3 and Greg 3 and ate 1 myself. The dogs didn't help us win, though, so I think Dad and Greg and I think our luck should be just watching them on Root Sports.

There is always a chance that you might find yourself on the receiving end of a terrorist threat with attending, but life mustn't stop or you will live a miserable life having accomplished nothing.

As it is, Dad comes over every night for dinner and a ball game on TV. What ever team is playing becomes the focus of our attentions. I have become more adept at knowing the players and the plays, but I'll never become as good as you. You were and are the best.

I have pictures! But, I'll have to wait until I can upload them tot he laptop in order to add them to this blog. But, I will. Soon.

I miss you every single day I am alive. I continue to call your name and tell you that I love you so very much. Greg has been a good husband, but he is not as good a fit as you. I miss your attitude about life. I miss your laugh and your studying in bed each night. I love watching you sleep. I know those are all things guys say about their women, but I feel those about you. Now that you are no longer with me, I feel it deeper.

Gotta go. Greg came home so we are going to break up the limbs and branches from the bushes Greg and Joel removed from the backyard. Tomorrow is garbage day. But, you are never far from my thoughts and prayers.

Love you forever,

Sweetie Pie

My Happy Birthday!!

                                                    Wesley, Thelma, Pop, and Me

I had the most perfect day yesterday. God ordered up the most perfect weather, not too hot and not too cold. Greg chose to mow the back yard as my birthday present while Joel was out of town so I could lay down a weed and feed. Cheryl Thrift sent me a bouquet of flowers that arrived by courier on Friday. The Relief Society placed a lawn sign in my front yard proclaiming to all that it was my birthday, while I received several cards in the mail as well as Facebook greetings. Then in the evening my Aunt Tim prepared a family dinner for the entire family. After the great food, we all sat around the table and talked about my Sunday School lesson. Everyone came away with a great feeling.

I wish you could have been there. You would have enjoyed the light banter (nothing heavy, honest!). The picture above was taken during as we all prepared to leave the get-together. Wesley even enjoyed the light banter and stayed the entire time.

BTW, doesn't Dad look good for a 90 year-old? I can't believe how good he looks.

Last week my Sunday School lesson was on the Restoration of the Priesthood. Bishop Stansel's sister was in the class. She told the Bishop that I was the best Gospel Doctrine teacher and he was lucky to have me. Bishop Stansel agreed with her.

I've got to leave now. But I'd rather stay here and talk with you than go back to work. I love having this small connection with you that no one knows about. You are the light of my life. And always shall be.