Beethoven and You

Hi Sweet Stuff,

Ludwig Van Beethoven

Today, I think I found the musical lecture that awed you in 2007 while I was having chemo. I remember you came in after your long drive home from work. It was as if you weren't yet back to earth from orbit. You never looked at us, you simply stared off in the ether above us (Risa was crocheting in the chair next to my bed).

You began to discuss Beethoven's music and how you finally understood how he composed the music. You had never understood before how he or other composers took one set of musical notes and created a theme from them and then modified the notes ever so slightly, to create additional musical ideas. It seemed as though you had discovered that the universe was expanding, it was. At least, your musical universe was expanding. I remember turning to my sister who has a graduate degree in music education, after you left the room and saying, "Eat your heart out."

Well, I think I found that lecture. After you left, I was at a loss on what to do. I moved, got on with my life, but I never adjusted well not having you around to balance me out. I have been listening to the lectures on music you purchased to listen to as you drove to and from work. I have been absolutely enthralled with them and am listening so that I can improve my understanding of music also. I love how you were always picking up new things to learn and trying to improve yourself. You purchased the lectures to improve your mind, you took up photography just before we traveled to Europe (Paris), and these ideas became central themes in your growth.

I have been walking in your footsteps.

I am trying to improve my mind and my heart to be worthy of you. Today, I found the lecture on Beethoven's 5th Symphony. What a wonderful lecture on 4 notes, "da-da-da-daaaaa." I am still trying to take it all in. I will probably listen to it several times before I go on to another composer.

I also have been indexing the CDs you purchased just before you left. I found several of the program notes where you annotated them. I want to listen to the music while I read your annotations to understand what you saw. Your memory is so precious to me.

My work is now calling me loudly and I must obey. It gives me great pleasure to write these little tidbits of my life for you. I know no one else even knows they are here and I am fine with that. They are meant for your heart only.

There are days when I can't wait to be with you again. I have so much to tell you and so much love to show you. I always carry you with me in my heart. Take care.