Hello my Love,

Hello my Love,

The tulips have blossomed in the garden bringing a shocking stab of color to the drab grey and washed out colors left over from winter’s dull sleep. I had forgotten what colors I had planted until the leaf stems emerged from the ground. I checked the bulbs every morning and upon my return from work anticipating their arrival and wagering with myself what colors would be displayed. Would they be the deep red of Holland’s tulips? Would they be white or pink or yellow? Maybe I had ordered black tulips! My mind had completely forgotten what I ordered from the catalog. When they finally bloomed, it surprised even me.

Each cup of petals was flame red/orange with bright Mexican yellow tips. The centers were a deep brown, almost a black, and acted as a backdrop to the yellow stamen that coyly hid from the sun deep within the flowers. Such beauty and brightness is sometimes difficult to behold.

The next lovely flowers to emerge from the garden should be the bearded irises. Their long green leaves have sprung up everywhere Joel and I planted the blubs. Again, it will be with anticipation I wait to see which colors will emerge from their green shells. I will watch with wonder.

I know how much you loved the flowers in my garden. I miss watching you photograph or try to spray the emerging buds. I loved to hear you in the morning as you would take Max outside so he could do his business, then bound back in quickly to grab your camera before rebounding back out again. I have the picture of you sprawled on the sidewalk photographing a black wooly caterpillar eye to eye as the background image on my cell phone. It so reminds me of how you viewed life. You wanted to grasp it and appreciate it in its present and imperfect form.

The other day I did something that I was proud of and caught myself thinking of your “Codispoti Two-Step” that signaled you had pulled a coup or maneuvered people to do something you wanted them to do. You were so cute! I knew each time I would see that dance that I would smile, just as I am smiling now thinking about it. The thought of you, yes, simply the thought of you continues to warm my life each day.

Later, the petals will wilt and drop from the stalks of the flowers that will inhabit my garden.  They will dry and stiffen, leaving only the skeleton of their former shapes. But to me, you shall forever be Spring and Summer as I grow into the Winter of my life. My body will wither and dry. My petals shall fall and my colors fade leaving me as the stalks of the tulips I now admire.  

The thought that we might see each other again brings that same expectation to my heart as I await the first buds to spring forth from the garden. Will you recognize me? Will I still be beautiful to you? You are immersed in my soul like the anticipation of Spring. I can’t wait for us to blossom forth and find each other, although I know you are not far away. I continue to feel you near me. You shall forever be my Valentine.